Thursday, November 12, 2009

Proper Chinese Food, an Important Life Skill

I learned something today, and no, it wasn't in physics.


There are a few key clues that you should know and be able to recognize to find amazingly delicious and cheap Chinese food. 


1. It is one of those shopping center Chinese places that all have the exact same menu but are otherwise unrelated.   I know you know exactly what I am talking about.


Now tonight, me and a friend walked into one, and feeling adventurous, I walked up to the counter confidently and asked the girl behind it what her favorite dish was, planning to trust her and get that.  Well, I was met with a blank stare, which she finally broke to scramble for a sheet of paper with Chinese writing and English writing on it, translating basic ordering words.  She had no idea what I was saying.  This brings me to number 2.


2. The wait staff does not speak English.


Somehow I managed to get an order in, and honestly, I have no idea what I ate.  That should scare me, and it does a little bit, but it was pretty awesome so I can't complain.  We sat down and waited for our food to come and my friend reached for a napkin, instantly breaking the napkin dispenser.


3.  The restaurant needs to be in a certain state of disrepair.  Too nice, and you are eating 'fusion', and too decrepit and you are getting food poisoning.  You want things to break, but not too catastrophically.


Needless to say, we had stumbled into a perfect Chinese restaurant.  Just when I thought that it couldn't get better, the next guy in line ordered the final requirement for excellence.


4.  The best Chinese restaurants always sell chicken wings, I have no idea why, other than that chicken wings are good, and so is Chinese food.



Eat up.

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